Sunday, September 2, 2012

Where will this lead me.... reflections over the past few days

This is definitely a weekend that has had more than a few twists and turns that I'll likely remember for a long while.  Here would be a few stories as of Sunday afternoon:

Friday night - On my way to a meditation this night, I got lost for a half hour driving around a neighborhood I hadn't been to previously.  I've interpreted this as a test to my persistence that I have at times to see something through.  I arrived at the house where I hadn't been before yet somehow I felt quite comfortable in this place.  There were a few visualization exercises that can be interesting to take this kind of trip within one's mind.  How do I see myself?  Where do I want to go?  What do I want to release tonight?  These would be some of the questions addressed in various journeys.  There was also the drawing of a card from an Oracle deck where I drew the "Children" card.  That my life will be about helping, teaching and healing children is kind of an odd thing to get since I don't have any children but I do enjoy teaching stuff so maybe there was that connection.  While the person that ran the meditation had a different interpretation.  Her view was that I should let my inner child out more and enjoy play in the world.  I can appreciate this on a few levels.  Of the dozen and a half people there, less than a handful were men which I find to be an odd theme in my life.  Somehow I seem to find groups where there tends to be more women than men which is likely an indicator of something.

Saturday night - This would be the birthday night of a friend.  I get to the place where the party is being held a bit early so I look around to see if I find any familiar faces.  Having found none, I sit at the bar with a water and read my book.  This would be one of my reasons for packing books with me: If I'm alone somewhere waiting for something, this is what I can do to fill my time.  Eventually it gets to be the reservation time and I figure, "Ok, time for me to talk to the staff and see where we are," and so one staff member near the front door says we'd be upstairs and so up I go.  Then talking to a guy upstairs, we are downstairs it seems.  Now, this is where I get to discover we have a few tables where there are couches and chairs.  Quite funky in some ways and again I keep reading as I'm waiting for others to show up.  Eventually some do start coming and so the socializing can begin.  Lots of interesting conversation and more than a few hugs would ensue.  There would also be some lengthy waits for food that I see as a test of how patient can I be.  I also wrote up a card where I'm recycling some Christmas cards I bought that seemed to still be fitting for this situation.  I wonder how that will be viewed.  There was also some dancing that was quite nice.  Now, worth noting that there were a handful of women up on the dance floor first and it was that kind of moment where I can wonder, "When is it my turn here?"  Still it was fun to be up on the floor and shake my booty.  There were more than a few familiar faces here which made for a good contrast to the previous day.

Sunday morning -  Being that rather faithful church going person that I am, I enjoy going to the service, singing some songs, seeing some familiar faces and taking in some new data to update the mental model I have of how I understand God, Jesus and most parts of the Bible.  This would also be where I got to tell people about my new job that I was rather excited to pass along.  There was also an interesting exchange just before I left where someone said hi to me that I still wonder if I know how to handle these things.  While she guessed my name was J.P., I did correct her to J.B. though I can wonder where was this to go?  What am I to ask in this case to make conversation?  Then, as I wonder off to my car, I get asked if the sermon is over which I doubted since I didn't think it was that late.  When I got into my car I noticed that the service had only been going for half an hour and thus my guess of coffee break may have been off.  Part of that guess came from noticing that the drummer this morning was done and so I thought the worship part was over.  I don't know how right or wrong I was though it may be interesting to ponder this at some point.