While I'll admit to not understanding it well, love as a concept is something I find very fascinating. Whenever someone says, "I love you," I'll almost always ponder for a moment, what is meant by the L-word. My sister for example, will tell relatives that she loves them, but will she call them? No. Will she visit them? No. Yet, she would say that she loves them and for me this frustrates me greatly. While one could argue that my parents would be better role models here, the age factor and other differences make it harder to relate in many ways. My mother was great at compartmentalizing everything so she could appear however she wanted to appear, kind of like a chameleon to my mind. My father on the other hand, was a hard working guy that just seemed to put too much work into everything for me to want to follow in that tradition. Thus, I grew up a little isolated and kind of left on my own. This makes me have all kinds of thoughts and ideas about love, some of which comes from literary sources as this is a rather common human experience to share and endure.
Being loved for who someone is, rather than what they think or do is an interesting challenge to my mind. Do you have someone that loves you no matter what you do? That will be there, through thick and thin, that wants to hear the adventures that are your life? At times I think I do, though at others I know of others that want to learn this too. For all the talk of God and his being everywhere, I see the flip side being something that all too often gets overlooked. Satan has his power too and one shouldn't forget about this in terms of what can influence one's life. I do know of some communities where I am loved and it feels fabulous, this I know. What I don't know is how well do I show love unto others or ask for this feedback as it would seem like I could be opening a Pandora's box in asking, not that that should stop me.
There are times where I ponder if I'll ever really date. To my mind, dating doesn't suit me in the traditional model of how I see it. If I rarely go out for dinner or see movies, how is going on a date with someone else to do this going to help me determine what kind of relationship I want? It would seem to make more sense to go where I'd usually go and have this person also be there though I'm not sure how easily doable that is.